I WISH I COULD STAY

We met someone, we fall in love

we love each other

we plan our future together...

But not every couple fated to be together forever

Some will end up married to each other,

but some will end up separated...

Move on is the only option 

And believe that God has His better plan on us 

"... If I should stay

I would only be in your way 

So I'll go

but I know

I'll think of you every step of the way

And I... will always love you, 

Will always love you

My darling, you...

Bittersweet memories

That is all 

I'm taking with me.

So good-bye.

Please don't cry:

We both know 

I'm not what you, you need

And I will always love you

I will always love you

I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you've dreamed of

And I wish you joy and happiness

But above all this I wish you love

And I... will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you.

Darling, I love you.

I'll always...

I'll always love you ..."

Whitney Houston I will Always Love you

TRY TO SURVIVE

I told ya. I moved on.

Move on (In my own definition) is moving to a new place, Living a new/happier (hope so) life, Leave all the bad things and be a good people. 

Not everyone knows where am I now. Malas sia kasi tau bah mana sia pigi, nanti banyak soalan diorang (tapi balik-balik juga update di Facebook. Ha Ha!). I leave my hometown after my big brother suggested me to do so. He said, as long as I still there (mengenang nasib sama nangis-nangis on the unsettled matter) I will never get my new life, I will never get what I want in my life and I will keep on doing the thing I shouldn't do at the first place. 

So, I booked a flight (nasib murah saja time tu walaupun last minute!) and contacted my very helpful cousin and she is so kind to give me a place to stay and give me foods (dia kawin urang putih, jadi sia makan pasta & spaghetti almost everyday. Nice experience juga bah.) She even help in order to find a new job here - help me to search for vacancies, asked her close friends to bring me to interview, asked her few old-friends if their companies got any vacancies. She and her husband owned their own business, but no job suits me except I want to join the other ranger to go to forest and do research on the trees. 

And after 3 weeks, I started to panic because I still did not manage to get any job and the balance in my bank account is not so much. Luckily my previous company still gave me my last salary although I sent Resignation Letter for 1 month notice only (for executive Level,  I suppose to resign in 3 months notice) and to be exact, I only work for 2 weeks after the Resignation notice. I just wanted to thank my Lady Boss for being so supportive and understanding on my situation as she allowed me to leave early. In addition, I still receive invitation for Kaamatan Show in Sabah, and I flew back to Sabah for the event and the payment was good. 

Within the 3 weeks time, I attended 4 interviews - 

1. Marketing manager (for one big and famous Hotel) - but I never have any hospitality experience, so I didn't put so much hope on that job.
2. Marketing Executive (for Event Company) - The salary was small (around RM2K only) but commission is big if you can pull many participants. But I said the salary is not enough for me (I need to consider my existing monthly commitment too. Otherwise, I die lor). Some more, I am not really into this kind of job, to please people. Ha ha! 
3. Sales Executive (trading company) -  I choose to apply for this job because the tasks were almost like my previous job. Handling Quotation and so on. The salary also within my salary request. The interview went well.
4. Secretary for General Manger (for manufacturing company) - I dare to apply for secretary because I have a lot of experiences as a secretary - I considered as a secretary for my MD last time, secretary to the JKKK back at my kampung, secretary for one non-profit organization called POST's (artists of sabah) and secretary for few organizations too back in my university. The interview went well also and they even asked me if I want the marketing executive post to handle few jobs in Sabah.

On the 4th week of being jobless, there were still none of company give any feedback on the interview. I was a bit stress and sad. But I told my self, by hook or by crook, I must get a job by June. Jadi cashier sana Giant pun buli bah! Then, I applied all 'The secret' law on my mind. I said, I believe I will get a job soon. Then, suddenly I receive a call from Mr. Jun to asked me if I can accept their offer but salary is not really meet my expected salary. Tadaaa~! Hati bebunga-bunga trus la. Since the salary offered was within my expected salary, I said YES! The job offer was the no. 3 above (Sales Executive).

So, there goes my story how I survived in my new place. There's one quote saying "Trust God's timing". I couldn't agree more. I am grateful for eveything happened in my life.

On the 1st June 2015, I started my new job. And my new colleagues almost all chinese-speaking. Ha Ha! new problem in my life...but, Still I will survive. I know! 

Until next time.

P/S - I also being offered for the secretary job (punya campin kali sia tembirang masa interview tu) but I already accepted the Sales Executive. My advice to those people who still trying to survive, don't worry! Your good news will come soon. 

XOXO~

MOVE ON

Few months ago, I told myself..

"...This time for real,

creating my future.

May God bless my journey.

I admit I'm afraid.

But I believe God will always be there by my side.

During my up and down.

I might crying alone but I must brave and become stronger..."

and someone quoted,

 "I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way" - Carl Sagan

A decision that brought me to my life today was once a tough decision but totally give me a new life and a peaceful in my heart. Although there are some matter here and there, at least I've finally got the freedom I always wanted in my life.

Most of all, I wanted to say thank you to my family, especially to my mom, for being so supportive during the transition of my life. I cried almost day and night. I almost gave up but mom is the strength of my life. I never thought in my wildest dream that she can be the real supporter of me. Hug me every time I cried and company me where ever I go. All this while, she was just a 'mom' for me, nothing more than that. I never share any of my problem to her, I always against her. Sometimes, I found her very annoying especially when she get mad and talk about my wrong doing. I'm sorry for that Mom. Siou... But deep in my heart, I always love her. And now, I love her even more. 

I still remember, the night before my flight, when I was packing my stuff, she came to my room and told me how sad she was to know that I was going to leave them. The house, my all beautiful nieces, my puppy (i know he misses me too much. Mom said he goes to my room and stay outside my room), sibling and of course mom and dad. Then, cried again bah. haish... That morning, when I was about to leave, I cried and hug her tight. I still remember, it was on 'Mother's day. It hurt but I really had to go. Not matter what, I told myself, life must go on. I need to change what I've done before.

I know this is always the best decision I've ever made, for me, for my family, for everyone. There are people got hurt but I know time will heal. I pray that all the people affected to my wrong doing before this will forgive me. I have personally ask for forgiveness from them. I just hope I am forgiven.

To those who still in the middle of making decision in life, don't forget to pray to God. He is the way, the truth and the life. Ask, and  he will give you. Believe in your heart, do what you think is good for you and everyone around you.

At last but not least, I hope my new place will be good to me. 

Thank you for your time reading my blog.

Love,

TravelnSing

New year 2015 and Happiness?

New year came and we came up with new life resolutions & new you... 

Unfortunately, all the time there are people who try to bring you down and drag you to your past...

I just made a promise to myself that I am gonna be a new person and gonna change all the bad things about me. 

However, that will never happen because people always judge me based on my past. That means, whatever I try to do they will consider me as a bad person and cannot be trusted anymore.

I don't know whether I will be able to live in this kind of environment forever. I am stuck in the middle of life. To move forward at the same path will definitely give a smile on my face but full of torn. And To change my path will be very impossible.

It's only 3rd January, 2015 and my heart started to cry... The reality is just too hard  to accept. As if there is no happiness will come on my way. 

Should I keep on moving at the same road? I know it was the road I always wanted... But since my past is always there to be judge and questioned, should I stick with it? There is no chance for me to be a new person. Because for them, I am only me... For them I will always the bad person.

TRAVEL VS MONEY

Travelling is always the best thing to do in life for those who love to travel just like me! 

The first time I traveled out of Sabah was in 2007, to Penang. Haha! The opportunity given by UMS when Me and my band re-presented UMS for Band competition. And we won first place! 

I've been always dreaming to travel out of Malaysia. I'm dreaming of going to the place covered of snow, or sakura flower or deserted land.... It keeps on playing in my mind ! Always...and so far, I've been to Manila, Philippines; Hong Kong, Singapore and Bali, Indonesia. My next plan is Europe...how's that sound? 

But, money always the main matter especially those who not come from rich family. However, travelling nowadays is cheaper compared to previous years. I think only laaa...because now people can get cheaper airfare and like the Airasia said, now everyone can fly.

I always saw people travel and wonder where do they get money to travel. Haha... I sounded funny but seriously, I'm so impress the way those people save money to travel cause (frankly speaking) I hardly save money for travelling purpose although My salary sometimes reached 3K in a month. I sounded weird , no?

Anyway, if you have any idea how to save money for travel, please share! 

Have a nice day everyone.

Xoxo,

Travel&sing

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014

It's 1st of January 2014. 

I suppose to be at home with family. But end up going out to find some peace.

The year has just started and God gave me a real big challenge in my life today.

Dear God,

I'm not blaming you at all. But I keep on asking what is your next plan on me.

I know everything happened for a reason. 

I'm not blaming anyone.

Not blaming myself neither.

Not blaming anything but waiting for God's answer.

It's just a beginning. This is just the 1st page of 2014 and another 364 pages to be written down.

I wish everyone a great Happiness in Life, a joyful Life, great Health and Good Luck for the Horse year.

#TravelnSing 

Travelling Alone?

Who doesn't love travel to other part of this world? So do I. More than I can say.  But, I admit I rarely travel due to some reasons. Money and company to travel.

Such a waste for not going out of my own place. Working for the entire of life and not doing any interesting things in my life! How does it sounds? A boring life isn't it? Well, not really actually because I am still busy with my singing life. It's just that, I feel pity for myself because not able to do something that I love!

I'm still single. I have no steady boyfriend that is going to be a real husband. I have my job and I gain some money from my singing job. Why on earth I still have money problem? I think it's because I'm a big spender! Spend my money for the unnecessary thing! Well, I thing I should start saving now. 

To be frank, I have no friend to travel with me. It's not that my friends doesn't like to travel. They love too! But, I know they have the same problem like I said before. Money matter! It's not that I don't want to help but I don't think I can afford to pay for another people. If only I could...

So today, I have decided to do something adventurous that I never thought before! To travel alone... What do you think? Have you ever travel alone in your life? Huhu..wish I can do this somewhere next year. Actually I've already book for Bali next year with few friends but some of them haven't confirm yet although I've already bought air ticket for them... 

So, to avoid the sadness and madness to repeat again, I rather travel alone!

I found a good blog for guide solotravelerblog.com

Wish me luck!

Adios!