Wednesday 23 September 2015

MERAJUK

Rasanya nama blog ni kena tukar ke 'Life of a women' sebab cerita pun kisah diri sendiri. Tiada kaitan langsung pun dengan Travel & Sing. 



Berbalik kepada tajuk entri hari kali ini, kenapa perempuan suka merajuk? Adakah memang semua perempuan suka merajuk atau ada juga perempuan yang memang tidak pernah merajuk langsung?! Kalau ada yang tidak pernah merajuk langsung, syabas! Memang jiwa kental dan idola saya.

Ini adalah kerana saya seorang perempuan yang suka merajuk dan apabila dipujuk, hambik kau...makin menjadi-jadi rajuknya. Bukan makin baik.
Tetapi, berdasarkan komen-komen daripada rakan-rakan wanita di Facebook, ternyata merajuk dia orang pun lebih kurang macam saya. 

Perempuan bertuah jika mempunyai kekasih atau suami yang sangat-sangat memahami dan tidak jemu memujuk. Merajuk bukan bermaksud perempuan menjadi kurang ajar atau jahat. Biasanya jika merajuk, perempuan akan diam sahaja dan enggan untuk bercakap. Kalau memang tidak dapat pujuk, biarkanlah dia berfikir sejenak. Bagi ruang  untuk dia habiskan rajuk tu... Dan tidak ada kaitan langsung untuk menjadi sundal atau hilang maruah jika dia merajuk panjang pun.

Tidak apalah wahai hati. Biarkanlah jika sang kekasih menganggap diri kita sundal dan tidak bermaruah jika merajuk. Jika dia tidak mampu 'mengendalikan' masalah diri kita yang kecil, lepaskanlah... Takut nanti jika dia menjadi suami, dia langsung tidak mampu kendalikan masalah rumahtangga yang lebih besar dan rumit.

Love yourself first. Siapa tahu lelaki yang lebih memahami dan lebih pintar mengendalikan sikap kita akan muncul.

Jangan pernah berputus asa. Tuhan kan ada :)


Thursday 27 August 2015

TERIMA KASIH USTAZAH

Ada macam Poyo ka title?

Memandangkan sekarang ribut pasal Stacy masuk islam, saya tiba-tiba terkenang kisah lalu yang zaman-zaman saya cinta maut sama ex-boyfriend islam saya. Yalah, becinta 12 tahun. Tapi, tidak terdetik pun dihati mau bina mahligai (kawin la bah maksud saya) sama-sama dia sebab kami dua-dua berlainan agama. Saya kristian (yang cukup-cukup makan) dia pula mu'alaf islam (yang cuckup-cukup makan juga). Kenapa saya cakap cukup-cukup makan, sebab kami pun bukan telampau alim. Cuma, saya mungkin sayang agama saya lebih saya sayang dia.

Sejak kenal dia, niat pun cuma bermain-main bercinta. Dalam hati, asal ada boyfriend saja laa... main-main la sangat. Ingat senang mau break-up? Dari main-main...pejam celik pejam celik, 12 tahun pula juga. Ke hulu ke hilir naik turun kehidupan, susah senang, sihat dan sakit, sentiasa bersama-sama. Tapi, pada masa yang sama, saya akui saya sentiasa cuba cari peluang untuk kenal dengan orang lain, terutamanya yang seagama dengan saya. Malangnya, semua orang yang saya jumpa tu lebih teruk pula dari dia. Pendek kata, tidak boleh bikin husband pun. 

Lepas masuk tahun ke-11 bercinta (main-main shak bah bialng saprel), saya pun tanya la dia, sampai bila mau begini? Dia pun mungkin mau serius-serius sudah sebab dia tidak mau saya jadi milik orang lain (sebab dia tamaha), jadi dia kontek satu orang ustazah (orang sebelah kampung juga), minta tolong ustazah tu bimbing saya masuk islam. Ustazah tu setuju dan suruh jumpa dia di Wisma Muis.

Memandangkan saya pun hairan kenapa tiada betul orang lain suka sama saya yang ikhlas selain dia (masa itu saja la), jadi saya pun dengan perasaan yang berdebar-debar pigi jumpa ustazah ni di Wisma Muis. Saya lupa tingkat berapa tapi saya ingat saya parking di tempat yang inda betul la time tu sebab malas bah cari parking. FULL ja kan parking space sana.

Jadi, cerita dia ni Ustazah pun suruh la saya masuk di satu bilik kaunseling di sana. Dia tanya-tanya asal usul saya. Korek punya korek, dia kenal pula bapa saya. Iyalah...sudah anak-anak sekolah di tempat sama. Bapa saya pula dulu-dulu Pengerusi PIBG sekolah. Famous la mungkin. Lepas tu, dia mula tanya saya alasan saya mau masuk Islam. Alasan saya memanglah sebab mau kawin sama ex-boyfriend saya tu kan. Lepas tu dia tanya lagi pasal penerimaan keluarga saya jika saya masuk islam. Saya jawab lagi, mungkin saya diam-diam dulu jadi islam, harap-harap keluarga dapat terima. Kemudian ustazah cakap, sebenarnya tiada masalah untuk terima seseorang itu masuk Islam cuma dia kata kalau masuk islam tu biarlah kerana Allah, bukan kerana seseorang sebab nanti kalau kita sudah berkahwin dengan orang islam yang (kunun) dicintai itu, bila tiba-tiba ada masalah datang, tiada lain yang kita bergantung selain Allah. Kalau tidak pernah mencintai Allah dan agama Islam, tentu sekali mu'alaf itu terkenang kepada agama lama dan akan menyesal kerana menukar agama... banyak la juga dia cerita, kisah-kisah rumahtangga yang kucar kacir kerana bukan kerana Allah.

Masa dengar ustazah becakap, saya diam, palan-palan keluar juga airmata sebab ada niat mau berpindah agama sedangkan saya tidak pernah (bukan benci laa) cinta agama Islam. In fact, I never want to change my religion. Sebelum keluar dari bilik kaunseling, ustazah pesan, kalau mau juga teruskan jadi Islam, boleh bawa gambar passport yang bertudung 2 keping lepas tu jumpa saya nanti. Kalau mau belajar, boleh juga pigi kelas sana Kepayan...dia tambah lagi. tup! bilang hati saya tersentak... biar betul saya ni?

Masa tu jantung saya memang berdebar-debar ja. Dalam dilema. Kalau teruskan maknanya saya sendiri sakit hati sebab saya cinta agama saya terlalu dalam walaupun saya cuma kristian yang cukup-cukup makan saja. Hairan juga kan. Kamu pun rasa begitu ka sama agama kamu? Atau saya saja ni telampau over tembirang? haha... Selain itu, saya tidak mau keluarga saya sakit hati dengan tindakan saya. Bukan pasal dorang tidak suka Islam, tapi sebab dorang tidak mau saya berkahwin sama ex-boyfriend saya tu atas sebab-sebab tertentu yang saya malas mau cerita (panjang betul 12 tahun punya kisah tu mau cerita)

Dipendekkan cerita, setakat ini saya masih beragama kristian (R.C) dan saya masih berharap jodoh saya adalah seorang yang seagama dengan saya. Thank you Ustazah atas nasihat dan kesedaran yang diberikan kepada saya. Sejak dari pertemuan itu, hati saya semakin mencintai agama saya dan niat untuk menjadi islam itu 98% sudah hilang. Ada lagi 2% no'olu-olu kara sebab masa tu saya masih juga macam belangkas sama boyfriend saya. Tapi, saya tidak sudah siram-siram tu niat 2% sebab saya yakin tiada kebahagiaan yang saya akan dapat jika teruskan niat yang akan menyakiti semua orang. Bukan keluarga saya saja, tapi keluarga dia juga. Sebenarnya kami tidak boleh kawin pun bah....

End of December, yang tinggal satu hari lagi mau New Year, tiba-tiba Tuhan turunkan seorang 'Angel' sama saya. Dari situlah bermulanya kehidupan baru saya yang penuh cabaran baru tapi saya pasti lebih berharga....tapi, kenapa selepas 12 tahun?

Nda apaplah 12 tahun. Saya yakin Tuhan ada rencana dia tersendiri.Yang penting saya harap itu Angel akan jadi my guardian Angel forever and ever in the name of Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Til next time... xoxo !












Tuesday 14 July 2015

I WISH I COULD STAY

We met someone, we fall in love
we love each other
we plan our future together...
But not every couple fated to be together forever
Some will end up married to each other,
but some will end up separated...

Move on is the only option 
And believe that God has His better plan on us 


"... If I should stay
I would only be in your way 

So I'll go
but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way

And I... will always love you, 
Will always love you
My darling, you...

Bittersweet memories
That is all 
I'm taking with me.

So good-bye.
Please don't cry:
We both know 
I'm not what you, you need

And I will always love you
I will always love you

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness
But above all this I wish you love

And I... will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you.
Darling, I love you.
I'll always...
I'll always love you ..."

Whitney Houston I will Always Love you

Sunday 12 July 2015

TRY TO SURVIVE

I told ya. I moved on.

Move on (In my own definition) is moving to a new place, Living a new/happier (hope so) life, Leave all the bad things and be a good people. 

Not everyone knows where am I now. Malas sia kasi tau bah mana sia pigi, nanti banyak soalan diorang (tapi balik-balik juga update di Facebook. Ha Ha!). I leave my hometown after my big brother suggested me to do so. He said, as long as I still there (mengenang nasib sama nangis-nangis on the unsettled matter) I will never get my new life, I will never get what I want in my life and I will keep on doing the thing I shouldn't do at the first place. 

So, I booked a flight (nasib murah saja time tu walaupun last minute!) and contacted my very helpful cousin and she is so kind to give me a place to stay and give me foods (dia kawin urang putih, jadi sia makan pasta & spaghetti almost everyday. Nice experience juga bah.) She even help in order to find a new job here - help me to search for vacancies, asked her close friends to bring me to interview, asked her few old-friends if their companies got any vacancies. She and her husband owned their own business, but no job suits me except I want to join the other ranger to go to forest and do research on the trees. 

And after 3 weeks, I started to panic because I still did not manage to get any job and the balance in my bank account is not so much. Luckily my previous company still gave me my last salary although I sent Resignation Letter for 1 month notice only (for executive Level,  I suppose to resign in 3 months notice) and to be exact, I only work for 2 weeks after the Resignation notice. I just wanted to thank my Lady Boss for being so supportive and understanding on my situation as she allowed me to leave early. In addition, I still receive invitation for Kaamatan Show in Sabah, and I flew back to Sabah for the event and the payment was good. 

Within the 3 weeks time, I attended 4 interviews - 
  1. Marketing manager (for one big and famous Hotel) - but I never have any hospitality experience, so I didn't put so much hope on that job.
  2. Marketing Executive (for Event Company) - The salary was small (around RM2K only) but commission is big if you can pull many participants. But I said the salary is not enough for me (I need to consider my existing monthly commitment too. Otherwise, I die lor). Some more, I am not really into this kind of job, to please people. Ha ha! 
  3. Sales Executive (trading company) -  I choose to apply for this job because the tasks were almost like my previous job. Handling Quotation and so on. The salary also within my salary request. The interview went well.
  4. Secretary for General Manger (for manufacturing company) - I dare to apply for secretary because I have a lot of experiences as a secretary - I considered as a secretary for my MD last time, secretary to the JKKK back at my kampung, secretary for one non-profit organization called POST's (artists of sabah) and secretary for few organizations too back in my university. The interview went well also and they even asked me if I want the marketing executive post to handle few jobs in Sabah.
On the 4th week of being jobless, there were still none of company give any feedback on the interview. I was a bit stress and sad. But I told my self, by hook or by crook, I must get a job by June. Jadi cashier sana Giant pun buli bah! Then, I applied all 'The secret' law on my mind. I said, I believe I will get a job soon. Then, suddenly I receive a call from Mr. Jun to asked me if I can accept their offer but salary is not really meet my expected salary. Tadaaa~! Hati bebunga-bunga trus la. Since the salary offered was within my expected salary, I said YES! The job offer was the no. 3 above (Sales Executive).

So, there goes my story how I survived in my new place. There's one quote saying "Trust God's timing". I couldn't agree more. I am grateful for eveything happened in my life.

On the 1st June 2015, I started my new job. And my new colleagues almost all chinese-speaking. Ha Ha! new problem in my life...but, Still I will survive. I know! 

Until next time.


P/S - I also being offered for the secretary job (punya campin kali sia tembirang masa interview tu) but I already accepted the Sales Executive. My advice to those people who still trying to survive, don't worry! Your good news will come soon. 

XOXO~










Wednesday 8 July 2015

MOVE ON

Few months ago, I told myself..
"...This time for real,
creating my future.
May God bless my journey.
I admit I'm afraid.
But I believe God will always be there by my side.
During my up and down.
I might crying alone but I must brave and become stronger..."
and someone quoted,
 "I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way" - Carl Sagan

A decision that brought me to my life today was once a tough decision but totally give me a new life and a peaceful in my heart. Although there are some matter here and there, at least I've finally got the freedom I always wanted in my life.

Most of all, I wanted to say thank you to my family, especially to my mom, for being so supportive during the transition of my life. I cried almost day and night. I almost gave up but mom is the strength of my life. I never thought in my wildest dream that she can be the real supporter of me. Hug me every time I cried and company me where ever I go. All this while, she was just a 'mom' for me, nothing more than that. I never share any of my problem to her, I always against her. Sometimes, I found her very annoying especially when she get mad and talk about my wrong doing. I'm sorry for that Mom. Siou... But deep in my heart, I always love her. And now, I love her even more. 

I still remember, the night before my flight, when I was packing my stuff, she came to my room and told me how sad she was to know that I was going to leave them. The house, my all beautiful nieces, my puppy (i know he misses me too much. Mom said he goes to my room and stay outside my room), sibling and of course mom and dad. Then, cried again bah. haish... That morning, when I was about to leave, I cried and hug her tight. I still remember, it was on 'Mother's day. It hurt but I really had to go. Not matter what, I told myself, life must go on. I need to change what I've done before.

I know this is always the best decision I've ever made, for me, for my family, for everyone. There are people got hurt but I know time will heal. I pray that all the people affected to my wrong doing before this will forgive me. I have personally ask for forgiveness from them. I just hope I am forgiven.

To those who still in the middle of making decision in life, don't forget to pray to God. He is the way, the truth and the life. Ask, and  he will give you. Believe in your heart, do what you think is good for you and everyone around you.

At last but not least, I hope my new place will be good to me. 

Thank you for your time reading my blog.

Love,
TravelnSing





Saturday 3 January 2015

New year 2015 and Happiness?

New year came and we came up with new life resolutions & new you... 
Unfortunately, all the time there are people who try to bring you down and drag you to your past...

I just made a promise to myself that I am gonna be a new person and gonna change all the bad things about me. 

However, that will never happen because people always judge me based on my past. That means, whatever I try to do they will consider me as a bad person and cannot be trusted anymore.

I don't know whether I will be able to live in this kind of environment forever. I am stuck in the middle of life. To move forward at the same path will definitely give a smile on my face but full of torn. And To change my path will be very impossible.

It's only 3rd January, 2015 and my heart started to cry... The reality is just too hard  to accept. As if there is no happiness will come on my way. 

Should I keep on moving at the same road? I know it was the road I always wanted... But since my past is always there to be judge and questioned, should I stick with it? There is no chance for me to be a new person. Because for them, I am only me... For them I will always the bad person.







Thursday 24 April 2014

TRAVEL VS MONEY

Travelling is always the best thing to do in life for those who love to travel just like me! 

The first time I traveled out of Sabah was in 2007, to Penang. Haha! The opportunity given by UMS when Me and my band re-presented UMS for Band competition. And we won first place! 

I've been always dreaming to travel out of Malaysia. I'm dreaming of going to the place covered of snow, or sakura flower or deserted land.... It keeps on playing in my mind ! Always...and so far, I've been to Manila, Philippines; Hong Kong, Singapore and Bali, Indonesia. My next plan is Europe...how's that sound? 

But, money always the main matter especially those who not come from rich family. However, travelling nowadays is cheaper compared to previous years. I think only laaa...because now people can get cheaper airfare and like the Airasia said, now everyone can fly.

I always saw people travel and wonder where do they get money to travel. Haha... I sounded funny but seriously, I'm so impress the way those people save money to travel cause (frankly speaking) I hardly save money for travelling purpose although My salary sometimes reached 3K in a month. I sounded weird , no?

Anyway, if you have any idea how to save money for travel, please share! 

Have a nice day everyone.

Xoxo,
Travel&sing